I Am Woo Girl,
Hear Me "Woo!"
BY LINDSEY GROSSMAN
Woo Girls get a bad rap. You've read about them in Scene & Herd, spotted
them in The City cartoons, or maybe you've experienced their zest for
life first-hand. This subculture of women is said to migrate in packs
from bar to bar on a mission to let the world know that you can take the
girl out of the sorority, but you can't take the sorority out of the
girl. People cross the street when they see these girls stumbling down
the sidewalk toward them and never take the time to get to know the
woman behind the "Woo!"
I was in a sorority and I admit that I, too, am prone to the occasional
"Woo!" when I'm out drinking with the ladies. I'm well aware that I'm no
longer in college, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to hang up my shot
glass to become one of those intellectual coffee drinkers who hates the
rest of the world almost as much as they hate themselves. I still like
to get drunk on purpose for no reason whatsoever. And when I do, you may
hear a "Woo!" I'm not depressed, nor do I have any underlying
insecurities that I'm trying to drown out. Sometimes, it's fun to get
wasted. This doesn't make me stupid, shallow, boy-crazy or "blonde." I'm
just lettin' loose and havin' a good time.
Of course there's more to a Woo Girl's vocabulary than that 3-letter
expletive. Many of us went to prominent universities and have gone on to
have successful careers. You may even work alongside a Woo Girl and not
even know it. I'm not going to jump up and down and shout "Woo!" in my
co-worker's ear while waiting to use the fax machine. But put me in a
cheesy club with Outkast's "Hey Ya!" blasting out the speakers and
that's another story. Even Woo Girls know that there's a time and a
place to "Woo!"
Here are some "Woo!" worthy moments:
1. After you've taken a shot: Specifically a Jaeger bomb, Irish car bomb
or any other "chugging shot." If you can finish one of these without
puking, you deserve some self-recognition.
2. You run into a friend at a bar: It doesn't matter if you saw her
every day for the past week or if you haven't seen her in years. It's
still a big freakin' deal. Innocent bystanders, beware of getting in the
way of this joyous reunion or you could end up with a puncture wound
from a pink stiletto heel.
3. The DJ plays your favorite song: Or your second favorite song. Or
pretty much any song that you know all of the words to. It's like kismet
that he played the exact song you wanted to hear right when you wanted
to hear it. You now have to drag your girlfriends onto the dance floor
with you to celebrate this cosmic event (this usually involves a group
"Woo!"). If there's not a dance floor, just dance in the middle of the
bar. People won't mind making room for your posse. If they do mind, it's
OK -- you're too drunk to notice.
4. Someone shares a juicy piece of gossip: Sara Kate is engaged. Ann
Marie is pregnant (on purpose). Mary Elizabeth got dumped (we "Woo!"
because she's a bitch and deserved it). All of this good news requires a
shot, which leads to another "Woo!" (see number one).
5. Using the "Woo!" to woo: Nothing attracts a fratastic
Patagonia-sporting guy like a girl who's even more loud and obnoxious
than he is. Once the sweet sound of the woo girl mating call pierces his
ears, he's sure to sidle up next to you and offer to buy you a Bud
Light, or a Michelob Ultra if you're counting carbs.
6. Just for the hell of it: Every girl must make this decision on her
own. The bar might be too quiet and you're too drunk and bored to be in
such a civilized establishment -- why not stir things up? It's a total
judgment (or lack of judgment) call.
Woo-ing is as innate for some girls as accessorizing is for others. And
-- wouldn't you know it? -- some of us are blessed with both traits. For
instance, nothing goes better with a "Woo!" than hoop earrings and a
David Yurman bracelet. But now we're getting into woo girl gear -- and
that's a whole other column.