Importing can be all kindsa fun. 
Sorry for the blip.
I'm back.
You know I've said this before... but i'll reiterate.
It's the whole:
Snidge you are smart enough
snidge you are successful enough
Snidge you are interesting enough
But snidge... you fall short.
Let's face it. Cupcake girl I am not... nor ever will be. I am groovy snidge... mother of turtle... I've got my own style... and most of the boys aren't real sure what to make of me around here.
This is why though... that snidge spends her time on home improvement and drinking beer on her back patio while Turtle swings on his swingset.
There are no real men in this town. Do you see? People, do you see what I deal with? Stupid little frat boys still playing boys club. And they are all afflicted with a disease that ends in "ness" and begins with "selfish."
In the words of Bonnie Tyler, "I need a hero."
My friend Wendy found a decent boy, but he was fresh off the train from Phoenix.
I'll have to import in. Or export myself out.
>There are no real men in this town. Do you see? People, do you see what I deal with? Stupid little frat boys still playing boys club.
Yep. I completely agree with that statement (now that my lil bro has moved away from M-town). I didn't find a decent guy till I moved here.
Hmmm...does New Place of Employment have a Windy City office??
There aren't any here either. Part of the reason I stay married! 
"This is why though... that snidge spends her time on home improvement and drinking beer on her back patio while Turtle swings on his swingset."
I love that. If I lived nearby, I'd SO hang out on that patio with you. Sounds like an awesome time to me. 
Exude confidence. You are smart enough, you are successful enouogh, you are interesting enough, and dammit you like yourself (as Stuart Smiley would say). What's wrong with sitting on the patio drinking a beer watching Turtle anyway (as long as there are some good tunes playing)? If guys get intimidated they are wusses. You can trust me, I'm a geezer and I know this to be true.
Somedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay your prince will coooooooooooooome... Seriously, I mean, what's up with the guys in your town? The guys I know would love to meet a woman who know does home improvement, drinks beer on her patio AND owns a pool table. Pffft.