Shy = make the girl do all the work.
Disagree if ya want. But that's what I think.
Also... thanks to Gwen, who gave me the fabulous book, I have to say that if you like the girl enough, you'll get over it and get off your ass and ask her out.
Just my opinion...
I'm beginning to see the whole guy thing much more black and white than I used to. It really is as simple as: if he dug you, he'd email/call/make a point of seeing you. Why we girls want to complicate it by making up excuses is beyond me.
He didn't email... Wow... well maybe he was cleaning the top of his refrigerator off and it accidentally fell on top of him and he's been like that for days now and the phone is JUST OUT OF HIS REACH and he's lying there thinking of me but can do nothing because of the damned refrigerator.
OR
He didn't email, because he's not that into me.
And it's true, when you have that attitude things are much easier.
So... shy? Or just not into me enough to get past the shyness?
Oh and another thing - this whole "hey yeah, me and my friends are going here after work..."
No no... that's not an invitation to a date, cowboy. And I'm not going to appear magically at your side at the bar with your buds. No... you can put forth an effort and you can ASK ME to meet you somewhere.
And that's all Snidge has to say on this matter. It's tough love for Shy Boy.
Longtime stalker lurker......GO SNIDGE! Make em work for it!
Uh oh...my first comment didn't seem to post right..HA...the word "lurker" was supposed have a strike through it...
I had that fridge thing happen and I have to tell you, when you're beneath a major appliance for several days you're not thinking about the girl so much as you're regretting the things you didn't do (because you were "Meow", too shy) to get the girl. The right girl does something to crack the shell of "shyness" and that boy has obviously not been cracked. Move On Snidge, a cracked shell is just around the bend.
"He didn't email, because he's not that into me."
This has been my attitude for years and it has saved me heartache on one side, and annoyed the crap out of me on the other. My girlfriends who go through all the excuses drive me nuts. Don't sit there and hypothesize every reason he may or may not have done something. Either ask him or get over it and move on.
On the other hand, after my first date with Winston (in Feb.), we emailed some. I sent him an email and never heard back. I thought, "Well, he's not that interested. Oh well. Moving along." Then in July, I got an IM from him. After talking, it turns out he never received my last email. So, we both assumed the other wasn't interested when we didn't receive emails back. Now, we've been dating 10 months (since the second first date!) and it's all good.
Snidge. Oy. Mr. Cheeky caught me up to speed on Shy Boy last night as we were driving to drop the ferrets off at the sitters. I was freaking in the car! You are SO right to avoid this guy. Nice or nice, shy or not (because it may not be shyness, it may be wishy-washyness).
If you ended up initiating a date and then ended up actually seeing this guy, his inability to 'step up' when necessary would be a common theme. You'd have to initiate in bed (or worse, he'd be all shy and awkward. Ugh). You'd have to plan all the acitivities, all the dates, all the weekend. Every conversation about where to go for dinner would go like this:
ShyBoy: Where do you want to go?
Snidge: Hmm, I don't know. Are you in the mood for anything in particular?
ShyBoy: Naw, not really. Why don't we just go wherever you want to go, that'll be fine with me.
Etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum!!! HOW do I know this, you ask? Well, because I dated someone like this. The cute awkward flirty shit in the beginning (before we were actually dating) ended up being the best part. It was all downhill afterward.
Run! Run away now and don't look back!
Okay, that is all.
Okay, just read Mr.Cheeky's reply and HE'S WRONG! Sure, he was a tad shy in some ways but if he had been that lame in planning a date I'd have ditched him early on! (I told him this, too!)
I honestly think some boys are just that afraid of rejection. So they figure if they nudge you enough with vague and confusing "statements of interest" you will as you say...do all the damn work for them. And I say, I wouldn't want to date someone who is totally that unsure of himself, even if he really IS that into me. Been there, done that tango. NEXT!
For the record, I was not saying that shyboy should be given a break, I was saying there is always a slightly less shyboy around the bend.