I think that it's very interesting that each and every single male that I tell my sad (pathetic) tale to, sits back tells me what I don't want to hear, and then cocks a brow, looks at me, and says:

"But you knew that, right? ... you're a smart gal."

Yeah... I know that.

I know all of it.

I know what's going on... even though, probably the other party, doesn't know himself.

I don't think it's intentional... but hell maybe it is. At this point, what the fuck do I know.

Hard to accept being dumb, you know?

Snidget will allow the Wad to wear a t-shirt with "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing at her.

But it sucks.

Funny thing about clarity... it can only come after you've been through the land of the confused. And I'm about ready to buy a first class right out of that place.

You know here's the thing...

staying in something... staying WITH someone... or hanging in there... when you have no business doing so - that's not a sport. No one issued a challenge.

Hey, the harder it gets, and the shittier you get treated, just means that you love them all the more!

No... it doesn't.

It means that YOU think that you deserve to be treated that way. And you're too afraid to ask for anything more.

Hard to let go - hard thing to learn.

and it's a matter of respect, right? Because the days where Snidge can still hold her head up over the way she conducted herself are limited.

And that's key - for me.

It's key for every relationship in fact... I mean yeah yeah... love... okay... passion...whatever...

NO.

Once the respect is gone, the rest is out the window.

No matter what... no matter how things ended.. no matter if the guy hated my guts when I left the relationship... no matter if he was jumping from one lilypad to the other... you still could see that there was a bit of deference there.

So I must ask myself... at what point does he lose respect for me... if he hasn't all ready? At what point, am I just the chick that is happy being second best?

And me? Respect is a two edged-sword. At what point do I lose respect for him? Staying in a relationship where he takes it and takes it and takes it... and then turns around and accepts apologies and allows her back in. At what point does he become less of a man to me because he can't stand up and put his foot down? Because if he truly wanted to fix things... truly... he'd be more proactive rather than reactive in his approach.

Just this snidget's opinion.

But my concern, at least for today, is not for him and her - and their doomed partnership where neither one of them (believe me when I say this) has been faithful - one maybe to a lesser degree than the other... but disloyal nonetheless.

My concern is for me and my well being... and my own self-esteem.

Do you get what I'm saying?

So I've got to find my way out of this maze and I will.

I hope he finds his way... before it's too late.

And that's all I got to really say.