Recently I have realized that every month I am RAPED by those bastards at Sprintpcs.

My cell phone bill is about $100 every month. I really only use it during off-peak hours... so what's the deal? Why is it so much?

i have no idea.

But my company is picking up the bill now, so I called Sprint today to tell them that hey... LTC has a sweet discount with Cingular and my bill could be a lot lower PLUS I could get one of those coolio Motorola RAZ-R phones.

The guy that I talk to says, hey, no prob. We offer a 25% discount to your company. Let me just port your old account over to the corporate account, switch over your billing cycle... yadda yadda yadda... Everything will be cool.

GREAT! I say.

So I notice my mo-BILE tonight has been eerily quiet. I pick it up and attempt to dial someone, I get this message:

"Due to non-payment, your SPRINTPCS account has been suspended. Please press 2 to hear your options."

Okay... I haven't lost it yet. I'm SURE that there's just been a mistake when they swapped everything over.

Snidget presses 2

For English press 1. For Spanish press 2.

Snidget presses 1.

Please enter your 10 digit PCS phone #.

Snidget presses it in.

That number was not recognized. Please try again.

Snidget pushes it in again - this time, slowly in case she had tricked out the machine before.

That number is not recognized. You have exceeded your attempts to login. Goodbye.

CLICK.

Fine fine fine. I'm still sure that this has something to do with the whole switch over. So I dial *2 and wait for a customer service rep to pick up.

Recorded Message: We are sorry to say that the customer service reps. will be unable to make any account activations or update your account at this time. However, they can answer questions regarding your account.

Okay fine.

I hold.

SprintPCS girl: May I have your sprint pcs phone # please.
Snidget recites it
SprintPCS girl: Yes ma'am... your account has been closed due to non-payment.
Snidget (still trying to be nice): Um... well no... not exactly... see... we shut down my account and switched it over to my company's account so that the billiing cycles will be the same...
SprintPCS girl: Ma'am I show a balance of $85 and thirty six cents.
Snidget: Right right... that was due on the 25th.
SprintPCS girl: I show that that is past due, ma'am.

PAUSE FOR DEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP BREATH

Snidget: No... I've got my bill in front of me. It's due Aug. 25th.
SprintPCS girl: Can you make the payment today?
Snidget: Um... well yeah... but it's not due until the 25th and my company-
SprintPCS girl: the phone will stay off until we have a payment.
Snidget: but it's not past due
SprintPCS girl: I show a past due balance-
Snidget: Yes you said that all ready... but that's the CURRENT balance...
SprintPCS girl: No that's past due ma'am
Snidget: look I've had service with you guys for three years now and I've NEVER been late. You check my record-
SprintPCS girl: We can't access account history right now
Snidget: Okay look... is your supervisor there...
SprintPCS girl: Well he's here, but he's going to tell you that you need to make a payment as well -

And it was at that moment,
down in M-town they say,
that Snidget lost it -
in a very BAD WAY

Snidget: Okay you know what? I'm not paying it. In fact, you guys can just sit and rot in hell waiting for that eighty-five dollars and thirty six cents check from me. Your plans suck, your company sucks, the god damned phone that I bought last month, fucking sucks, and quite frankly your customer service skills SUCK.

And then I hang up the phone and can't believe that I have just screamed 'fuck' at a complete stranger.

Let's chalk it up to lack of sleep and stress and call it a day.

For those of you that are privvy enough to have my crackberry number, call it instead.