Holey shit... I don't know where to start...

Friday I got a late start on the road and actually had second thoughts about taking the drive... just because emails were flying back and forth and phone calls were coming in fast and furious in prep for the hurricane. But I needed a quick, cheap getaway. And so bus demolition it was.

I got in around... well I guess close to midnight at Broad's. She was a good hostess with beer and pizza waiting. Mmmm.... beer.

So we stayed up till 2, I guess.... chatting and watching some documentary on Star Wars (which was weird). I was so mentally and physically exhausted, that I actually slept FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT on Broad's sofa. Even though I still woke up at 6 and couldn't go back to sleep it didn't matter. I was just excited to get that much sleep in one stretch.

We got up, go dressed, went to EWK's where he unleashed my inner rock star with my hair, then we went to the mall in search of some fake eyelashes, couldn't find any, so just bought some make up, went to some crafts fair that Broad had to write about, then headed home to get ready for the show.

Wad and his lovely wife met up with us for dinner, and they were (AND SHOULD HAVE gone) supposed to go to the demolition with us, but someone was scared off by the parking situation at the race track.

Let me describe in detail the demolition... and this will probably not be entertaining to anyone except Broad and me - because I swear, we nearly pissed ourselves we were laughing so hard the entire time.

The track is a dirt figure 8 and the races start out with just regular cars. They don't race the 8, instead just do the outside circle. We saw everything from Ford festivas to Buick LeSabre's out there. The group started picking out their favorites ("I got #57! No no, I want 0!") but we quickly were amused by the ALL BLACK 666 car which came peeling away from the start line with much "anger and rage."

Some funny quotes from this segment:

Oh my god!! It's pure pandemonium out there racefans!! There's not one, but TWO #3 cars! Go Earnhardt!
What's up with the 666 car? Look at the driver? He's goth and all in black.
Look at 0!!! The race has just started and he's all ready said fuck it and headed towards the pits!

Next came the buses.
oh
my
god
People... this had to be the most redneck fun Snidget has ever had in her entire life. Seriously. And I kept thinking about Mr. K and my bro and thinking how they would have fucking LOVED this.
So what they do, is take old school buses - well they being different businesses, organizations, whathaveya. They paint and decorate the buses and the buses race the figure 8. It was WILD. Imagine if you will, old graffiti'd up buses (one was painted entirely pepto bismol pink) racing around, taking turns and nearly flipping over, nearly colliding with one another at the intersection of the 8. Our group was rooting for the Bellwood Fire Department's bus (I can't remember why), but that bus had engine problems and was out fairly early in the race. The pink pepto bus flipped over at turn 1 (where our group was sitting). So that left like... two other buses AND the General Lee bus (which was 01 and yes, yes had a horn that played Dixie) and Steve's bus. Now... I don't know who Steve was... I don't know his story... Just that somehow we knew that the white bus was Steve and we went crazy screaming for him every time he came around turn 1. The General Lee bus, fyi, had some kind of souped up engine - it was not a normal bus engine (I'm sure that Broad would agree). So here are some funny quotes from the bus races:

Steve!!! We're rooting for you man over here at turn 1!!!
Look at Steve!! Look at him!! He's all ready celebrating. He's got the celebratory beer popped open and is taking his victory lap early.
(at the site of Steve's bus pushing a stalled bus out of the way) Steve is now part of the maintenance crew. Race bus driver, race track debris-removal - he's a jack of all trades.

And yes yes... Steve did indeed win. As his bus crossed the finish line, it flipped over - and our group all agreed, that Steve, would not have wanted it any other way. Steve hopped out of the flipped over bus, and jumped on top raising his fists in the air (ah... sweet victory!). Several in our group rushed over to get their picture taken with the winner.

Next came the TRAILER RACES. Let me explain this to you: any kind of car can enter as long as it has a trailer hitched to it. Some of the trailers had old boats on them, some of them had pop-up campers, others had a table and chairs with Foghorn leghorn having dinner on it, you get the point. It was nuts. The rule was, whatever car is left on the track with at least one wheel on his trailer intact wins the race. Off they went. Funny quotes from our group during this segment:

SHUT UP! I don't even know where to look first!!
Ooooohhhhh, there goes the party barge!
Did you guys see that? Did you see that guy's name on the station wagon??? That's my guy right there... right there. The ACCIDENT INSTIGATOR.
No no no!! The popup just lost his microwave!

The cars got so crazy, that when some of them lost their trailers, they went around and started pushing the old trailers and boats, and campers and shit, BACK ONTO THE TRACK so that the other cars would hit them. (Yeah... that's right accident instigator! Push that bitch back onto the track!)

We had fun... I don't remember who won that race... just that it was insane. Broad's friends were hella cool. We had loads of fun.

Wife of Wad, email me. Next time, just call me and Broad and come out with us.

Next trip is to go see Mike Doughty and Snidge has said that her little bro may go. AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T EMBARASS HER. I'm trying to talk my friend Aims into coming with her man as well... so it will be another fun night I'm sure.